AUGUST 1976

a sexual organ, too. You should be aware of how close you are to orgasm and have your partner stop well before you reach it. For most men, the anus seems to tighten up after an orgasm, making sex more difficult and definitely less fun. If having anal sex is at all difficult for you, it's best if your partner comes first.

As you become more and more excited and your partner manipulates your anus, your sphincter muscles should begin to relax. There are two sets of muscles: one at the entrance to the rectum and one about 5 or 6. inches in. Both need to be relaxed, but only the first set is voluntarily controlled. At this point your partner should try entry with a well lubricated finger. It's very important for him not to apply much pressure. He should , gently, slowly push after feeling the muscles relax. Periodically he should stop to let you get used to the feeling of his finger.

About three inches into the rectum (just about the length of your longest finger) is the prostate gland. It is between the wall of the rectum and your penis it's hard (especially when you have an erection) and feels quite different from the surrounding tissue. If your partner massages it gently it can turn you on and also relax your sphincter muscles. The prostate enlarges and gets harder just before you ejaculate, so your partner should be aware and stop if he notices this.

Now you're both ready for

anal sex. There are many positions, each having their advantages and disadvantages. No one position is right for all couples or for a particular couple all the time. Which you prefer will depend on your mood, your preferences, and possible even the size and shape of your partner's penis.

Positions vary as far as ability to penetrate, degree of control you have, and how relaxed surrounding muscles can be. For example, if you are on your stomach, your parnter can penetrate deepest and buttock and leg muscles can be relaxed, facilitating relaxation of sphincter muscles, but the lack of control can override any advantages. How far into the rectum your partner penetrates really doesn't effect enjoyment for most couples, but comfort, ability to relax and control usually do. Many people prefer to lay on their backs, knees to their chest, with their partner facing them (it often helps to have a pillow under your hips to make insertion easier). Many people feel they can have control yet still be relaxed in this position. It's worth noting here that there is an almost 90 degree turn in the color about 4 or 5 inches in from the anus. This position seems to make it easier. to make this turn partner.

for your

There are many other positions. If you sit on your partner's penis while he is on his back, you can have maximum

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control. You may find, however, that because you're using leg and buttock muscles, you can't relax as much as in other positions, but this is far from universal. Another possibility is with both partners kneeling, front to back. For many this has a good balance between control and relaxation.

When it comes right down to it, positions are really a matter of preference and to some extent anatomy. Don't be surprised if at some time you discover your favorite position doesn't happen to work with a particular partner. It may just be that your anatomies aren't right for that particular position. It is indeed rare that you can't find any position that works.

Probably the two most important things to remember are: 1) relax and 2) don't be afraid to say no. If it hurts try another position, or other ways to relax. If it still hurts, don't do it. Anal sex is quite safe as long as it doesn't hurt. If it hurts, it might be doing serious damage. Don't accept guilt trips from partners who can't have orgasms exactly the way they want. They're missing a "good fuck" but you're avoiding serious damage to your rectum. Better to save your ass than his libido!

Another short word on possible problems. Anal gonorrhea is a real possibility. Don't let anyone with a discharge fuck you (or do anything else for that matter) and if you have anal sex

regularly, get checks for VD. Remember to ask for an anal smear for gonorrhea. There are no symptoms in the majority of cases, but you may have pus or mucus in the stool or mild irritation with bowel movements. Testsshould be at 3 to 6 month intervals, depending on how active you are.

Be aware of any changes in your rectum or anus. Bleeding after anal sex should especially be looked at by a doctor. It may be (and usually is) harmless hemorrhoids, anal warts (which should be treated)or superficial tears in the lining of the rectum. But it may also be more serious larger tears, for instance, can cause serious problems if left untreated for a long period of time.

One truly harmless set of symptoms you may have noticed is what has been called "morning after syndrome" by clinics that see many gay clients. As the name implies, it usually happens after sex. There is a tenderness, with perhaps mild cramps in the lower abdomen and a constant urge to urinate, regardless of an empty or full bladder. It goes away within 24 hours after having sex. It happens that some muscles are slightly strained, like having a charley horse. If it doesn't go away within 24 hours, it could be a cause for concern, but as long as it goes away, it's just a remnant of an active night, and nothing to worry about.

Probably what would most

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Page 9

help gay men is an extremely understanding and knowledgeable doctor or proctologist (specialist in rectal problems). If we had doctors we could trust to have the information we needed, we'd all breathe a little easier. Understanding proctologists do exist, but they're few and far between. Don't be afraid to seek a second opinion, and try to separate moralizing and value judgments from sound advice.

HIGH GEAR COMMENTARY

Anal Intercourse is a highly specialized sexual activity and it does not necessarily indicate sexual prowess or finesse. It is not as widespread as many people think. No gay man should feel pressured to "have to" perform anal sex. Although it certainly represents broadening of horizons, it is not essential to the complete fulfillment of loving another

man.

a

GAY COMMUNITY CENTER The GEAR Foundation is looking for people who are interested in working with a community services center. "No experience necessary; only a willingness to work hard, long hours for free. If you have a talent, we can use it. Write GEAR P.O. Box 6177, Cleve. Ohio 44101 or give us a call at 631-5330.

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